Dress uP: The Manpris Must DIE! (and 9 other man trends that need to go)

21 11 2009

I swear, the second it gets above 60 degrees in Manhattan people think it’s the damn summer time and start up with ridiculous warm weather clothes…in November. The other day I saw a dude walking across 14th street wearing flip flops and Manpris (or capris for men) and no jacket. Now I’m all about the beautiful late fall weather, but it made me realize that there are way too many man trends that just need to die.

#1: Manpris– The term came from my sister Christine and our friend Torey who also coined the terms Murse and Mandals. They live in Hawaii and see all sorts of awful trends but we all agree that the cropped pants need to hit the road. I hate capris on anyone but nothing says failed trend quite like a dude in short pants.

#2: Carpenter Pants– Gentlemen, are you really still buying carpenter pants?! Unless you’re painting my house, please ditch these ridiculous slacks. And Old Navy- please stop selling them!!

#3: Ugg Boots for Dudes– I can tolerate Ugg boots for women, but men are not to wear suede Ugg boots under any condition, especially with skinny jeans tucked into them (see #5).

Ugh, this is right by where I work

#4: Sports Jerseys– Sports jerseys are strictly for sporting events. They are not to be worn as regular clothes. Got it, Jeter? Sidebar from my husband who is a Giants season ticket holder: If you’re a Mets/Yankees/Knicks  fan and wear a different sport jersey to a Giants game, we will make fun of you. Shell out $20 for the coordinating sport or face our wrath.

#5: Skinny Jeans- I am just starting to accept skinny jeans on chicks. On men, my eyes immediately go to your privates. I can’t help it, I think anyone but Mick Jagger looks ridiculous in skinny jeans.

#6: Fedoras or Pork Pie Hats– We were in Williamsburg the day of the NYC marathon and I counted 7 Rat Pack-esque hats on Bedford Avenue. Hipsters are annoying and so are their fedoras. (For more on hipsters, go to http://www.latfh.com and laugh your arse off).

#7: Pants Hanging Below the Butt– How in the hell do men walk with their pants hanging so low??? Never mind the fact that I have to stare at your boxer-clad tush in the subway, you make me late to work by walking so slow, trying to keep up your trousers. Stop the insanity!

#8: The Wife Beater as a Shirt– The sleeveless white ribbed undershirt, lovingly referred to as the “wife beater” is an undershirt. It’s to be worn under button down shirts or in the privacy of your own home. They are not real shirts and should not be treated as such.

#9: Ed Hardy Wear– Jon Gosselin officially killed Ed Hardy for me. Seeing that bloated, child-neglecting ass clown cavorting around NYC in head-to-toe Ed Hardy officially pushed the entire line into the Just Say No category.

#10: Pleated Khakis– What’s the #1 way to look fat and dumpy? Throw on a pair of pleated khakis! I didn’t even know they were still available, which makes me think that there are some men out there who need to make a donation to Goodwill this Christmas.

So there you have it–little tips that will make getting dressed in the morning just a tiny bit easier.  I love New York City men, but I need to call out some of these fashion mistakes before they grow to Gosselin sized proportions.




One response

5 01 2010

manpris should not be allowed. i don’t trust wearers of manpris

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