Make uP: The Best Nail Polish on the Planet

28 08 2009

 

Whatever Lola Wants

Whatever Lola Wants

 

 

It may seem a bit trivial to write about nail polish but trust me, when your hands are immersed in color and water all day long, regular nail care becomes of utmost importance. I used to have beautiful, long, strong nails. Then I became a colorist and they barely grow above my fingertips and are a constant shade of…tan.

I tend to favor dark colored nail polishes to mask the permanent discoloration of my nails but as we all know, dark nail polish chips after about 10 minutes. Not to sound like a Cover Girl commercial, but chipped nail polish is now a thing of the past. I’ve discovered the Ferrari of polish: Lippman Nail Lacquer. It’s $16 a bottle and worth every cent. Each lacquer bears the name of a song and lasts such a long time that it’s almost tough to take it off. Besides being formaldehyde-free, Lippman polish contains biotin (for cell regrowth), green tea and okoume (a natural nail strengthener)

I think my mom put it best in a recent voicemail she left me: “I know it’s dear (pricey), but would you mind picking me up another bottle of that amazing nail polish. It lasts forever.”

Mom’s favorite: “Whatever Lola Wants” (created with Kelly Ripa)

My favorites: “Dark Side of the Moon,” “Just Walk Away Renee “(created with Renee Zellweger), “Kiss From a Rose,” “Hit Me with Your Best Shot (created with Pat Benetar)”

Hit Me with Your Best Shot

Hit Me with Your Best Shot

For more information on Lippman Nail Lacquer visit: http://lippmancollection.com





Dress uP: An Expletive-Riddled Rant

21 08 2009

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I once read that people curse because they have a limited vocabulary. As a writer I try to come up with tart replies that bully cursing right out of the equation. As a human being, I know that cursing is just an easy way out when you can’t think of the right words to properly express yourself. As a daughter, I know that my mother frowns upon bad language and feels that she’s taught me better.  With all that being said, IT’S HOT AS BALLS IN NEW YORK RIGHT NOW AND I CAN’T FUCKING TAKE IT ANY MORE!!!!!

I walked three blocks to get an iced tea today and when I returned to the salon I was soaking wet and wilted with a serious white girl’s afro. The short jaunt made me mean and cranky and I’ve decided to rant about all the NYC fashion trends that need to die immediately. From this day forward, I am officially OVER:

  • People who wear boots in the summer; especially with shorts. I love my Fryes too but come on! It’s 90 freaking degrees outside with 80% humidity. Get a pair of sandals there, Harley Davidson.  And don’t even get me started on over-the-knee boots.  I saw some idiot today wearing daisy dukes, a tank top and over-the-knee boots. I truly hope she suffered a long and miserable heat rash in the name of “fashion.”
  • I am 100% over and done with Capri pants. They don’t look good on anyone. And no, I do not want to field emails from people saying they found the most amazing pair of Capri pants.  Trust me, you have not.
  • Can someone please explain the flip-flop boot to me? I think this is absolutely ludicrous.0072
  • Short jean shorts with pockets hanging out the bottom just make you look lazy. And while we’re at it, I am all set with the super long t-shirt that hangs over the super short jean shorts.
  • Fedoras used to be cute. They are now sold on 14th street next to the Super Mario Brothers games and flat screen TVs.  Ditch them.
  • I am all about leather looking leggings.  Just not in the summer. Nothing says pool of sweat at the knees like a pair of vinyl leggings in August.
  • Unless it’s for a religious reason, there is absolutely no reason I can think of to be wearing tights in August.
  • Clear bra straps need to disappear forever. I can’t think of an uglier, tackier look than a shiny, sweat-stained “invisible” bra strap showing through a too-long tank top over daisy duke cutoffs.

I’m two more days of this sickening heat away from taking commando pictures of fashion disasters in the subway. Don’t let it be you!





Follow uP: Diane Birch LIVE!

19 08 2009

Tonight my friend Scott and I walked over to Le Poisson Rouge on Bleecker Street to see Diane Birch play live in an intimate little venue.

Despite a horrendous opening band from Vancouver called Hard Drugs (believe me, hard drugs would have kicked the ass of this garbage trio; or at least numbed my senses) Diane is even more amazing in person than on her already impressive album, “Bible Belt.” In addition to playing all her best songs from that cd, she also closed with the Tom Petty crowd pleaser “You don’t know how it feels.” The show was worth every cent of the $15 admission and shoddy waitress service.

If you haven’t already, check this woman out! She is the most exciting female singer I’ve heard in years.





Change it uP: I Love Extreme Makeovers

15 08 2009

There are two things a client can say that will make me absolutely swoon as a colorist: 1.) “Do whatever you want” and 2.) “I want to make a drastic change.”

I was born with dark brown hair and I’ve accepted the fact that unless I wear a wig, I will probably never change beyond the dark brown-black-aubergine family. I’m boring, but I know what does and does not work for me. And while I love doing beautiful, organic color and subtle highlights on others, it’s the color that turns a person into someone else that truly keeps me on my toes. Drastic changes, although thrilling, can be a little intimidating for a colorist, but when they work, they really work. I did both the before and after color on Sophy. 

Sophy: Highlighted Blonde to Firey Red

Sophy is an awesome girl: a tall, blonde dancer who is fully tattooed and completely fearless. One afternoon she sent me an email asking what I thought about her going red. At first I thought maybe a strawberry blonde or a light copper, but no, she wanted to go balls to the wall, cherry bomb red. Sophy booked an appointment for the next day and a few hours later, she walked out the door as a drop dead gorgeous redhead.

Sophy Version 1.0:

Blonde and Straight

Sexy and Straight

Sweet and Curly

Sweet and Curly

Sophy Version 2.0:

Sasstastic!

Sasstastic!

 For those out there who are considering a major change, I beg you: Do not attempt to do it at home! Please seek the assistance of a professional. Trust me, I’ve seen enough green hair, hot pink roots and chemical haircuts to KNOW that at home makeovers are not the way to go. A consultation costs nothing and can save a lot of heartache later.

And for anyone who would be willing to completely change it up for this blog, email me at: alysonph@gmail.com





Catch uP: A Perfect Day

7 08 2009

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It’s very rare for me to have a day off in which I’m not running to an appointment, engaging in friends/family commitments or doing menial household tasks that have been piling up for days. Today, however, was one of those rare days, and I spent it my favorite way: going to the movies by myself.

Many people think it’s odd that I love to go to matinees alone. I, too, used to think solo moviegoers were complete weirdos…until I went by myself. Now maybe it’s the introverted side of my personality talking but I hate having to discuss a movie with someone right after I watch it. I’d much prefer to wait a day or two and then have a lengthy convo over a glass of wine. I also don’t want to worry whether or not a person is enjoying the movie or if they’d rather be outside lighting up a P-funk. And while I love to have a good cry at a movie, I am embarrassed to cry in front of others; no matter how close I am to them (my sister, Christine, is the one and only exception to this).

So with my day wide open, I embarked on a movie double header. No summaries here, just thoughts.

12:10 showing: 500 Days of Summer.  Nine hours have passed and I can’t stop thinking about this film. Going in, I was a little nervous that it was going to be a bit too “precious” for my taste. I usually find romantic comedies contrived and annoying but I gave this a chance because I love the leads (Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, my new Hollywood boyfriend) and I thought the premise was interesting (500 days in the relationship between Tom and Summer in which the narrator tells us in the first 5 minutes “this is NOT a love story”).  It’s a clever, funny and sometimes heartbreaking 90-minute movie with a banging soundtrack and none of the Katherine Heigl-esque crappy movie antics that give romantic comedies a bad name. I don’t want to give too much away, but I will never look at greeting cards or Hall and Oats the same way again; totally worth the 6 lbs of buttery ass, kettle corn sprinkled popcorn I had to run off later.

2:30 showing: Funny People. This was a last minute decision coming off the high of my earlier movie. I had heard mixed reviews and wasn’t sure if I wanted to commit to 2+ hours in the dark with Adam Sandler, but I’m glad I bit the bullet and went. While a fan, I tend to think Judd Apatow’s movies are way too long and some scenes definitely could have been shaved off this one, but I never checked my watch as I’ve done in the past. I think the key to enjoying this movie is to go in expecting a drama that happens to be funny and not a raunchy Apatow comedy. I laughed. A lot. But when all is said and done, this is a pretty serious and somewhat sad movie. This is not Billy Madison “are you looking at me, swan?” Sandler. It’s dark and depressed and somewhat douchey Sandler. There are no memorable body waxing scenes a la 40 Year-Old Virgin, or shrooming in Vegas, but it doesn’t need them. The cast is tight, Adam Sandler is at his best ever and Seth Rogen proves that he can be more than the oafish pothead. Just go to the bathroom beforehand because with previews, my butt was in that seat for 2:30. Oh and as a side note, the AMC Loews Village 7 Theater smells like an old person’s basement after a flash flood. As much as I hate Times Square, I’d recommend its comfy stadium seating and breathable air for this film.

So that’s that. My perfect day filled with all of my favorite things: walking around New York with my iPod, matinees by myself, eating the shittiest food on the planet (and subsequently running it off), watching the So You Think You Can Dance finale and ending the day writing with a liter of Zazz black cherry seltzer.  It doesn’t get much better than that.





What’s uP: A Love Letter to Emergen-C

5 08 2009

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Dear Emergen-C:

I know we’ve only known each other for a year but I’d like to take a moment to profess my undying love for you and your magical powers.

I remember the first time I saw you: on the shelf at Bikram Yoga NYC. I wasn’t impressed and wrote you off as just another culty yoga product. In fact it wasn’t until last summer, after a cookout gone wild, that I opened myself up to you. I was laying completely immobilized on my friend Eric’s couch, watching the Muppet Show on DVD, hoping for any sign of normal body stasis, when my friend brought me a tumbler of phosphorescent orange goodness. Within 20 minutes I was completely brought back to life. And from that moment on, our relationship blossomed.

How much do I love thee, Emergen-C? Let me count the ways:

  •  Although I’m partial to Super Orange, you have enough flavors for every palate
  • Your 25 calories and 5g sugar respect all dietary needs
  • You kick Gatorade’s ass right back to the locker room in terms of electrolyte replenishment
  • Next to toilet paper and paper towels, you are the only thing I buy in bulk
  • You are not only a guaranteed hangover prevention (taken before bed) but a next-day massacre relief (if forgotten to take before bed)
  • Your abundance of B vitamins reduces my stress level while providing me with a healthy afternoon boost
  • Since I’ve found you, I haven’t had a single cold this year
  • You are delicious

Don’t worry, Emergen-C, I know you have many imitators invented by school teachers and so on, but you’re the only one for me. Here’s to another healthy, happy year together!

XOXO,

APH

P.S. This blog is not sponsored by any companies, brands or products.  Anything mentioned by name is truly awesome and mention-worthy.

http://www.emergenc.com